


so pretty and witty and...

by haengbokhaeya (shinybicho)



Series: i'll be the spring to your smile [9]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Coming Out, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Yejin is Ailee JFYI, ailee is the best noona, it's mostly in her POV anyway, like a tiny bit because
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12765531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinybicho/pseuds/haengbokhaeya
Summary: At the very least, she was glad he called her even if it meant searching through Google and deleting her entire browsing history after because that's what noonas do. Teach gay relationships and gay sex to their beloved dongsaengs.





	so pretty and witty and...

“Gay,” Jihoon said on the other end of the line so softly that Yejin _strained_ her ears to hear it properly. Did she hear him right? Did Jihoon just say that he was, “ _gay_ , noona. I’m gay.”

Yejin took a really deep breath, pushing her phone away from her ear for a moment, placing it on the table in front of her. Her ears were pounding, the blood rushing up her head quickly at the revelation. It was more of a shock than anything else. She grew up in the west, she had more liberal views than most. It wasn’t that she had problems with Jihoon being gay, it’s what he could potentially be asking from her.

“Okay,” Yejin said, after a few moments of very fast meditation, “okay, and you want me to-- _what_?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon said, and he sounded defeated, sadder than Yejin has ever heard him even during their trainee days when debuting felt so far away and difficult to grasp.

“You didn’t call me in the middle of the night just to come out, Jihoon-ah,” Yejin said as patient as she could be with two hours of sleep at three in the morning where she had to be up in two more hours for her first schedule of the day. “If this was a request to feature in one of your songs again, you know that I don’t mind but couldn’t this have waited until I was awake and when we’ve both had coffee?”

“I just,” Jihoon said and Yejin was patient. She _could_ be without Eric yapping at her ear. “He came in and I couldn’t-- your number was the first that came up, noona.”

And Jihoon sounded so helpless, it almost hurt to listen to him. He didn’t ask for this. To be gay and to be in an all-male group. Yejin sat up, her blanket falling to her lap as she took a deep breath to calm down her racing mind.

“I’m sure there’s a twenty four hour coffee shop somewhere. Wanna meet up there?” Because what Jihoon needed wasn’t empty words that held empty promises that it was going to be okay. Yejin only had her ears and her heart and that was what she offered to him. She opened her eyes just as she swung her legs over her bed. “I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes.”

So it took her thirty minutes to get ready and to arrive in front of Jihoon’s dorm building. It was still vaguely early. The wind was chilly, but the sun had risen enough for the street lamps to be turned off. She had a warm coat, her hair tied into a messy bun, her sunglasses that covered the top half of her face and her face mask that covered the lower half of her face. She didn’t bother with any makeup or fixing herself any further than that because she felt like it was going to be quite a long day and it had barely even started.

Jihoon was waiting for her, leaning onto a wall, dressed but looking even messier than her. His eyes had scarily dark circles underneath. He looked _horrible_. His face was paler than usual, the color of his skin more pasty white than anything. He was unhealthy and obviously in pain and Yejin really wanted to wrap him in her arms and protect him from the world.

She settled for the next best thing. Coffee.

As soon as Jihoon saw her, he looked like he was about to cry in relief. Yejin wondered what happened before he called her that made him like this and whose ass was she going to kick for hurting Jihoon this way. But with a nod directed down the street, they both walked silently.

Jihoon’s head was down while Yejin looked ahead, making sure there were no cars passing them by and that Jihoon was walking straight without any obstacles. It was still fairly early in the day that people haven’t begun their morning yet and Yejin was glad for the peace and quiet.

When they arrived at the twenty-four hour coffee shop, she motioned Jihoon to find them a seat while she ordered for them. He was about to complain, his mouth open to protest but she gave him a pointed stare, tipping her sunglasses just a bit and he closed his mouth. He nodded meekly before taking a seat in the corner where the couches were. Yejin jerked her head once in satisfaction before she turned to the cashier with a bright smile.

Customers have come and gone, buying their morning coffee and breakfast meals to go to start their day and the coffee mug placed in front of Jihoon was already cooling down somewhat. She was already halfway finished with her coffee mug, and her muffin was more than halfway eaten when Jihoon finally decided to talk.

“Noona,” Jihoon said, and Yejin waited for him to continue patiently, taking another bite of her muffin using her fork (because portion control). He seemed pained still. She could see the words running through her head, the explanations and the scenes and events, the consequences and risks he would have to accept to get whatever this thing was out.

“Thank you for telling me,” Yejin cut him off because it was a good idea to help him feel at ease. A simple thanks might have helped, she hoped. “It’s hard to keep things like that a secret.”

There were unshed tears in Jihoon’s eyes, more than she’s ever seen in him. The burden looked heavy and Yejin just wanted to carry it for him. But there were boundaries still between them, and she didn’t want to assume. So she thanked him then stayed silent, patiently waiting for Jihoon to continue. She needed to be patient for Jihoon’s sake.

“I don’t have a schedule today,” she said confidently, “you can take your time and tell me when you’re ready.”

She kept silent for a few more minutes, finishing her muffin and the rest of her coffee. Her eyes never left the mug still full in between them as Jihoon’s own eyes kept darting around, avoiding looking at her. “Jihoon-ah,” she said as calm as she could be, “you know this is okay, right? There’s nothing wrong with this and there’s _nothing_ wrong with you.”

The unshed tears were shiny in Jihoon’s eyes, even with the sunlight’s reflection. At the back of her mind, Yejin thought how lucky they were that the coffee shop was a little hole-in-the-wall that was never too crowded even as the day went on.

Jihoon wiped his eyes with his sleeves. He gave her a dry chuckle as Yejin leaned back onto her chair. “It… it feels too much, sometimes. Like everything else has gone and he’s the only one left in the room. He doesn’t need to be, but he is. There. Just-- there.”

Yejin felt the tension she didn’t realize release through her exhale. Jihoon began talking and it was good that he was. She didn’t rush him, still patient but wary of their surroundings. This was good. This was a great step forward.

It didn’t answer who Jihoon was talking about though.

The thought made her flush. It never occured to her to wonder or question. When Jihoon called her, she was worried about him. Given in her defense, it was three in the morning and she was still half asleep but now that she had her breakfast and a cup of coffee, it dawned on her that she didn’t even know who Jihoon liked.

“Do you regret it,” Yejin asked because it wasn’t important to know who he liked so much than how Jihoon felt about himself. _That_ was what Yejin needed to know first. “Do you regret liking him?”

Jihoon shook his head right away, confident. Or as confident as someone coming out for the first time could be. And that was good. That was a good sign that Jihoon wasn’t internally struggling to come to terms with who he was. That gave Yejin more confidence to ask.

“Is he,” and Yejin tried to choose her words very carefully, “part of your group?”

The nod Jihoon gave was stiff. It was a small inclination of the head, a dip of his chin that if not seen closely, would have looked like a twitch. But Yejin knew better now. She narrowed her eyes, observing other rare reactions from Jihoon besides the blush crawling to his cheeks to the tips of his ears. It was cute, if his call earlier that morning wasn’t worrying.

“Does anyone else know?”

Jihoon stiffened before shaking his head. His eyes were wide, filled with fear and anxiety but he paused. “I don’t…” He scrunched his brows, dipping low on his forehead before he bit his lower lip and his eyes narrowed before he sighed. “Cheol might know.”

That caused _Yejin_ to pause. Seungcheol? _Seungcheol_ knew?

“Seungcheol’s,” Yejin stuttered, almost biting her tongue in surprise, “Seungcheol’s not the one you like?”

From surprise, Jihoon’s face morphed into disgust as if his least favorite food was placed in front of him and he looked like he was about to gag at the thought.

“I had to go with the odds, Jihoon-ah,” Yejin said, shrugging when Jihoon narrowed his eyes at her.

“No, it’s,” Jihoon said before taking a very deep, very long breath, “it’s Soonyoung, noona.”

“Soonyoung,” Yejin repeated and Jihoon nodded, still stiff but more sure as he met her eyes directly and somehow, deep down, she knew she hadn’t heard wrong and in retrospect, she should have even expected that name.

“Right,” she said as she leaned back, falling deeper into her chair and no longer caring about her posture as phrases and questions raced through her mind. She blinked once, twice, thrice before she grabbed for her mug and she stood. When Jihoon was about to ask her, she held her hand up before giving him a smile.

“I’ll help you, Jihoon-ah. But I think I’m gonna need another cup of coffee because I have a feeling that this is gonna be a _very_ long discussion.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by my BOOK CLUB CHINGUS loves but it turned out way longer than it should have been. i've come out a few times to my family but as an asexual (i really don't think they believe me at all and i think it's become an unspoken, begrudgingly-accepting thing) so this is only an image of what i think would happen if someone came out to me. this may not be as realistic.
> 
> i am also not taking light of coming out. it's important to be who you're comfortable being and coming out to people you're comfortable with telling. there is no pressure, and i understand that this is a very hard thing to do. it takes a lot of courage and strength and if you're one of those who are struggling, please know that i am very proud of you. i understand it's hard and sometimes painful and confusing but if you ever need someone to talk to, my inboxes are always open.
> 
> okay so i babbled. this is entirely unedited. i'll be collating all 50 fics into a chaptered fic (edited with possible additional scenes or something) after i post all of them. hahahaha.
> 
> the music that got me through writing this fic: (stream CLAP)  
> [Without You by SEVENTEEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-8Na7Idtbo)  
> [Hello by SEVENTEEN (JUN, Mingyu, DK)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoQxxYk6Xz0)
> 
> SCREAM AT ME: [personal twt](https://twitter.com/shinybicho), [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/shinybicho)
> 
> PLEASE FOLLOW [dracomalfail's thread](https://twitter.com/dracomalfail/status/925395803916484608) for updates of my fics. i avoid posting links directly on my twitter due to personal reasons, i hope you understand.


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